Part 4 through 5 if you will

Here goes!

Reading Log: The last chapters move alot faster than the earlier parts. I finished the book ages ago but I have had an insane amount of work to do so as far as posting anything is concerned I’ve just been an awful student. In my defence part of It is of course work but also the two plays I’m involved with so i suppose it’s a silver lining (the course is about culture and all). I had a few laughs when i realised some people found the time to read two books. No way!

Finishing the book felt great. To me the book is a page-turner and trying not to read it all at the same time has in retrospect been the most challenging part. As i got to meet the exes of Robs and see who they had become, and read his thoughts about them I fell even deeper in love with the book, and getting to the end left me feeling like a cannonball had hit my head. The way he appeared to con himself into thinking his latest ex Laura was nothing compared to his Charlie had me completely fooled. I was looking for the metaplot of his constant oscillation between resenting Laura and missing her and also for the way out for him. I was so busy looking for it i was dooped the same way he was. It was in the end that i realized that was never the answer, she was.

I left the last post at a crossroads. I am speaking of the epiffany Rob came too at Lauras fathers funeral. He realized he was afraid of death. So scared in fact that he felt a need to be a bit cavalier towards life. It allowed him to cheat on Laura, because cheating on her caused her to mean less, or so his subconscious thought. It allowed him to not let go of Charlie, because if she was the ultimate woman there was nothing to lose. It even made him want to keep smoking, because smoking ment he didn’t care about death or even fear it. When he realised this he did not call up his family or his former girlfriends, but he told Laura. Not to change her mind about leaving but to let her know why he didn’t get it, get why people want the things they want and need the things they need. It was his descision to give up and just hate life rather than change it that made him embittered to the point where she wanted to leave.

The funny part about it is, with me being as thick as I assume most men are, the fact that i couldn’t have had this explained to me in a comprehensible way without the story, the narrative of Rob Flemming. You could have told me but i wouldn’t have felt any difference. This is why the book had to be so overwhelmingly full of angst and the idiosyncrasies of people. The message would have ment nothing without it.

Now when i’m done, these ideas slowly fade. The book though brilliant in its style is loosing it’s grip over me. It seems to happen everytime, after a while i just remember a feeling the book gave me but not much of the thoughts it brought to me. Those thoughts grow obscelete as i see new questions in fornt of me that maybe the next shenannigan might hold the answers too. I peruse the book for an anecdote that may explain what this book is, there is none. As any book that is considered ok literature it would take another book to explain it’s magic. If not, it could just have been a leaflet instead.

I’ve looked through most of the reading logs, there are some intresting choices among them. I descided to comment on Lord of the Flies, i read it a few years back and i remember finding it slightly redundant, and not all that captive so i wanted to give some kudos at http://janinahykkyra.wordpress.com/

The second comment can be found on http://hannasenglishproject.blogspot.fi/ She is late too so i just felt a connection, and also I have read One flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest.

http://skolbloggen.ratata.fi/ Is my final comment. It’s two am and my eyelids feel like they are made of lead. Basically i saw the movie which is why i commented.

Furthermore:

During Lauras fathers memorial her and Rob run off and almost have some uncomfortable sex in a car but end up chainsmoking in a pub after Rob is unable to resist asking Laura if she and Ray used protection. When they go back, they go back as a couple. Rob and Laura reassume their relationship the next few days they spend with the obligatory were-do-we-stand-now-has-anything-changed-and will-it-be-different-now-conversations that there seems to be abound during any getting back together faze. During this time Rob struggles, quite amusingly with himself. He wants to be right but chooses to accept that he is not, although he is unable to divulge this to Laura. In the end he gives in. He used to work as a DJ when which is how he met Laura and he really loved doing it. She gives him the opportunity to do it again and right there, standing in his rostrum playing songs with the crowd dancing he sees Laura and starts planning a mixed tape for her with songs she would actually listen too. He feels content as he realises he may yet understand how things are done.

When i now look through the book i realise part of it’s charm is the way it’s all held together by short sidetracks the characters end up in. Colorless and colorfull anecdotes alike, they bring a certain natural feeling to the text, people would actually think and speak like this.

Dear Nick Hornby

You are an impressive author, you seem to wright the way I wish I could. Your language is intelligent and your way of explaining something is very practical. I will definately read more of your books as soon as possible.

The brutal honesty with which you pick apart the things we do without knowing why is very scathing. But scathing in a warm and forgiving way. On the flipside however your work also needs a persons openness and willingness to understand and analyze. This may be true for all literature to a certain extent but i daresay High Fidelity has very little to give without the will to enjoy. If i had chosen not to reflect as much over the course of reading it could have felt like a 250 page bashing of everyday annoyances. I’m glad i didn’t though.

With regards and hopes of one day overcoming the shortcomings of my sex,

Leo Backman.

So.. I wasn’t going to post this assignment online until i realized i’m pretty happy with the analysis.

Send-in 2

Slipknot – Snuff

Bury all your secrets in my skin
Come away with innocence, and leave me with my sins
The air around me still feels like a cage
And love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again…

So if you love me, let me go.
And run away before I know.
My heart is just too dark to care.
I can’t destroy what isn’t there.
Deliver me into my fate –
If I’m alone I cannot hate
I don’t deserve to have you…
My smile was taken long ago
If I can change I hope I never know

I still press your letters to my lips
And cherish them in parts of me that savor every kiss
I couldn’t face a life without your light
But all of that was ripped apart…
when you refused to fight

So save your breath, I will not hear.
I think I made it very clear.
You couldn’t hate enough to love.
Is that supposed to be enough?
I only wish you weren’t my friend.
Then I could hurt you in the end.
I never claimed to be a saint…
My own was banished long ago
It took the death of hope to let you go

So break yourself against my stones
And spit your pity in my soul
You never needed any help
You sold me out to save yourself
And I won’t listen to your shame
You ran away – you’re all the same
Angels lie to keep control…
My love was punished long ago
If you still care, don’t ever let me know
If you still care, don’t ever let me know…

I decided between Johnny Flynn – Barnacled warship and this song by Slipknot. I chose the latter because of it’s powerful metaplot. Slipknot is an american trash, nu and alternative metal band. I wouldn’t say i like the genre very much but this song is however a very powerful ballad. Also the video has been given short-film status for it’s production value and quality wich is another reason for my picking it.
The song starts with a pretty typical rock ballad guitarstrumming, and than Corey Taylor chimes in with his slightly cracked voice laced with melancholy. The song in essence two huge crescendos rather than your typical A, B and C part song. As the drums join in the build up is diabolical and foreboding. There is a break were Corey taylor changes a few words with a woman, were he promises to never let go. And a new crescendo, though less massive, starts and consists of the final chorus. The sound is very consuming, the thick sound of the overdriven guitars along with the lyrics and strained voice of Taylor pull the listener in and is a great tool for creating the kind of all-or-nothing-feeling the song gives the listener. The whole ordeal is dark and full of anguish and anxiety, both the video and song. The song is repetative in melody and the video uses various tricks with lighting and playback speed to create an atmosphere of despair.

The lyrics are, by themselves, generic at first glance. A bitter broken man singing his pain of his broken heart. It seems like a ”don’t get too close i’ll only hurt you”-thing. It’s not.
Combining the video with the lyrics gives the metaplot of the song more straightforwardly than the lyrics alone and neither is all that without the other.

The first thing one realizes when watching the video is of course the double timeline. There are two different nights playing out through this song and also a memory. The woman arriving in the car is not there at the same time as Taylors character. Watching the doorman closely is the first indication of this, it becomes clearer when they enter the house. Taylor picks up the wine glass wich the woman had left and switches on the tv, which starts playing a video, the same video that the first seconds of the film depicts, it is the memory of the two. The video is of bad quality and the picture is hopping and skipping wich indicates memory is faded and tarnished. He proceeds to drunkenly remeniss about their times, he appears to be in deep anguish. The first thing one might think of is that this song is about him asking forgiveness, but there are subtle signs wich grow more obvious throughout the song that there is more to it.
The girl gets dressed again after freshening up and leaves the place and is greeted by a neighbour whos dog the girl pats on her way out. Leaving Taylor behind remenissing and going into a complete psychic breakdown cutting his hand on crushed glass. Taylor dresses up in her clothes ritualisticly and leaves the appartment to the reaction of the perplexed doorman. On his way out he meets the same neighbour and also pats her dog.
Well the point is, i believe, that the woman who he obviously cared deeply for had died. I assume she caused her own demise, this is indicated partly by the lyrics but also from the skull next to were she sets her glass of wine down. Wether she actually killed herself by drugs, alcohol or by suicide i cannot decipher but his action during his breakdown could be drugindused. The story is not about her forgiving him, or him missing her or her leaving him at root. It’s rather about him deciding her life was more important to him than his own, therefore choosing to let her live on through him.

Now the meaning of the lyrics has changed in part. Her death rendered his life obsolete to him. He is angry with her because in dying she took the easy way out and thereby she sold his feelings. And for his sake he wishes to have never cared cause then he could just choose to hate her for leaving him. But in the end what was most important to him was the light she brought and not the fact that she let go, so he chose to live with her light rather than let it be foregone.

Book project part 3

Reading Log: The reading itself went fine but the current level of stress in my life is taking its toll so i noticed that my focus is slightly off. I find myself reaching the bottom of a page only to realize I’ve neglected to actually take in even a mere shard of the story. It does not, of course, stop one from reading; However reading isn’t half as much fun in such a state as it is when you have the energy for it. Especially, i believe, when it’s a book that hasn’t got your basic cheep hook to keep you reading but some sort of actual finesse, seing as the latter is usually the better book.Unfortunately this makes my log slightly boring, I will probably re-read the latest parts so as to not judge the book by it’s cover (pun intended). In any case there’s really only one thing i can proclaim to have learned wich is, i suppose, having once again learned the significance of concentrating on the meaning of words rather than structure, spelling etc.
As i keep reading i will try to find the time to let it take time.

Assignment: Well as Robs story arch moseys on he seems to realize he is lost. He chooses, after his little debacle with an american country singer by the name Marie (where he gives the reader one of the most neurotic and painful first person accounts of two people getting frisky out of any book i’ve ever read, i won’t go into detail here), he desides to call “the top five worst-break-ups-ever”. He gives them a call and looking for answers to why they made him feel so hurt. He places one call after another until the only one left is Charlie, the one that got away or as i like to call her “she-liked-me-Charlie”. They have almost all moved on and evolved over the years but Rob persists in his endevour to find answers. The story evolves slowly at this point, he has obviously accepted his need for closure and understanding of his past but also because Robs ex-girlfriend calls him and explains that her father died and asks Rob to come to the funeral. He has never been to a funeral and comes to realize some things about himself.

Wordlist

Conciliant – Försonande, konciliant

Concession – medgivande

Crabby – snarstucken, sur, vräsig

Prosecusion – åtal, bedrivande

adolescence – tonårsskap

to haggle – att pruta

some/thing/one is conspicuous – någo/t/n är misstänkt

Turmoil – villervalla, turbulens

deprecatory – urskuldande, avvisande

kismet – öde, kismet

slacker – drönare, slan

Poxy – billigt, korkat dumt

Receiver (telephone) – lur, telefonlur

exorcize – att driva ut onda andar

posh – förnäm, flott

superficial – flack, ytlig

tantrum – raseriutbrott

callbox – telefonskåp, telefonkiosk

preposterous – befängt

aghast – bestört

pleasantries – artigheter, artighetsfraser

Beatific, smiling beatifically – visa på lycklighet, glädjefylldhet, kunde översättas -> överlyckligt leende

Part two

Reading log: I am really enjoying this book. The main character, as i explained in my first log entry, gives me chills. There is nothing redeeming about him and yet i find myself sympathising to his anger with the world. The nuisances in the main character, robs life, constituted by his colleagues, parents and work are annoying me as the reader to almost the same extent as it does him. I wish sometimes you could just do the right thing and ride out the, pardon me, shitstorm a phonecall from a parent or even the meeting of a person who just makes you feel bad can cause inside you. Even if Rob has been taken to the extreme there are still obvious similarities to how we tend to act when we are scorned, hurt or feel inadequate.

 The silver lining was however the anecdote were Rob gets a call from a woman who wants to sell him her record collection. As he starts to go through the albums not knowing what to expect and comes to realize there are tons of rarities, worth several grand. The odd woman than asks 50 quid for the lot. Puzzled rob asks what she is playing at selling the best record collection he’s ever seen for fifty quid and she explains they belong to her husband “He’s in Spain with a twenty-three-year-old. A friend of my daughter’s. He had the fucking cheek to phone up and ask to borrow some money and I refused, so he asked me to sell his singles collection and send him a cheque for whatever I got minus ten per cent commission. Which reminds me. Can you make sure you give me a five pound note? I want to frame it and put it on the wall.”. I find the story hilarious. Partly because it makes me remember a similar event between an acquaintance of mine and her husband, who cheated and she desided to pack up and leave when she realized his company, car and house were all in her possession, in paper at least, for tax-reasons. She took off with all of it. I came to realize, not without cringing, that have a soft spot for the universe settling scores.

Assignment: The language of High Fidelity is somewhat slangy and i do have to look up a word every once in a while. No matter, slang is a great way to earn confidence in a foreign language, being able to speak more naturally is part of the reason i assume. On the other hand the way the dialogue and the inner monologue of Robs are built with reasonably short sentences and a large impact with few words wich makes the pages fly by. There is a quote, i am way too absentminded to remember who said it or the exact quote but here goes “Great books consists of mediocre sentences held together by a few great ones.” This is very true in this case, the language is ok, keeps you going, but it really is all about the ones that makes your heart race. For instance this sequence is, in my opinion, great (about his former dreamgirl Charlie “She talked a lot, so that you didn’t have those terrible, strained silences that seemed to characterize most of my sixth-form dates, and when she talked she said remarkably intresting things – about her course, about my course, about music, about films and books and politics. And she liked me. She liked me. She liked me. She liked me. Or at least, I think she did.” and this one aswell “I was intimidated by the other men on her dign course and became convinced that she was going to go off with one of them. She went off with one of them.”. later in the book when a conversation between Rob and the girl who left him, Laura, have spoken and he has found out she hasn’t had sex with her knew, to his knoledge, lover who is their former neighbour “Yes! Yes! This is fantastic news! Mr Sixty Minute Man hasn’t even clocked on yet! I kiss her on the cheek and go to the pub to meet Dick and Barry. I feel like a new man, although not ver much like a New Man. I feel so much better, in fact, that I go straight out and sleep with Marie.

Wordlist:

Dismissiveness (with a tender dismissiveness) – ogiltigförklarande, med ömt ogiltigförklarande

Frippery – Pretantiös elegans

Partition – skiljevägg

Contempt – förakt

self-deluding – självbedragande (självbedregeri)

Ill-at-ease – Illa till mods

obtuse – Trubbig, inte lyhörd, perseptionslös (great word by the way)

Thatcherism – Thacherism (the political style conducted by Margaret Thatcher)

Corker – Slanguttryck för något uppseendeväckande eller slående

Rostrum – Podeum, estrad

Incidentally – appropå något, av tillfälle

Thimbles – fingerborgar

beermats – underlägg för ölstop

Go for a slash – Gå pissa

soppy – hjärtnupen, sliskigt sorglig

sheepishly – fåraktigt

Flog – Prygla

knob – ligga med

adulterer – någon som begår äktenskapsbrott

flaking – fjällande

 

English book project

I chose High Fidelity by Nick Hornby for my Book Project for two reasons: one: It’s been standing in my bookshelf for some time but i have simply procrastinated reading it; two: i found it was time to read the book that explains why we men are as we are since i resently went through a sort-of-break-up.

Reading in english is something i’ve enjoyed since my teens, i find the english language colorful. There are so many nuances to every synonym. I must profess that i find a certain glamour in it too. The most sophisticated things i’ve said have been in english. Reading a novel in english is very unlike reading a swedish novel to me.

I was completely immersed from the first chapter. I actually managed to make it a hundred pages before i realized i’m suppost to read on a schedule. This book is unsettling, gruesome even. I am unsettled in the same way i was when i read The Catcher in the Rye. It fascinates me aswell as sickens me. Partly because i see slight resemblances between me and the main characters in both books, but even more because i’m slightly different and these stories make me feel like i’m living on the edge. The story is told by a 35 year old man, stagnating Rob Fleming, cynical, resently dumped and without direction. He lists a number of ex-girlfriends in chronological order and tells of the effect of losing said girls. He then moves on to tell about he’s latest ex-girlfriend Laurie, who dumped him for their former neighbour. He also tells the reader of his dead-end job owning a record store in London, his colleagues and family. He is a cynical man with fewer and fewer illusions about women, love and what life should be. Though he is not cynical in the slightly charming persuasion wich can actually be an empowerment when dealing with the regularness of life, he is rather gifted with the kind that people tend to use as an airbag for when your feelings are hurt but after a while end up being a crutch for living with feelings of disappointment with oneself.

The story in itself seems to be a bit generic, as are the characters. But the lines of reasoning and the way Nick Hornby puts his finger on the way people tend to think when they feel reality doesn’t live up to the expectancies seems to be quite avante-garde.

Wordlist:

Interregnum = interregnum, mellanspel

off-licence = alkoholbutik, bl.a också liquor store eller bottle store

Complexion = Hy, hudfärg

Thump (verb)= slå, dunka

Abstention = återhållsamhet

Carrier bag= plastpåse

Cohabitant= sambo

Embittered= förbittrad

Wuthering = svindlande

sneering= försmädlig

Lascivious= liderlig, lasciv

Scarlet = scharlakansröd

remotely = avlägset

fervent = ivrig

advantageous = fördelaktig

Impeccable = Ofelbar

averageness = genomsnittlighet

taut-looking = spänt utseende

Hello world!

Welcome to WordPress.com! This is your very first post. Click the Edit link to modify or delete it, or start a new post. If you like, use this post to tell readers why you started this blog and what you plan to do with it.

Happy blogging!